The Real You?

If everyday life is like the stage, then all of us are actors-as Goffman’s article points out But if this is true, then where is the “real” me? If we are all actors in our daily life, then is everyday life really anything more than a “put-on”? Explain what Goffman means by “expression given” and “expressions given off”.

Goffman’s dramaturgical model of human life serves to provide a conceptual framework for one to understand human interaction and life-in-society, but it should be noted that it is just one way to try to understand society, not the only way. While I agree with Goffman’s view that our society consists of actors and observers who play distinct roles, I do not believe the suggestion that everyday life is nothing more than a “put-on”, and that all individuals want to control the conduct of others and intentionally seek to project a certain definition of a situation.  I agree that as a society we employ the use of sign activity in communication, a concept Goffman further clarified through his coined terms, "expressions given" and “expressions given off”.  The former term falling in the traditional, narrow sense of the understanding of communication, which asserts that verbal symbols or substitutes are used in order to convey information known to be attached to those symbols, while the latter is defined as a theatrical, contextual, non-verbal method of communication brought about by an individual’s wide range of actions performed in an attempt to influence the definition of the situation. While I have observed that this behavior does exist in parts of our society, I believe it exists in varying degrees, possibly in concordance with the level of importance an individual places on the need to be liked or admired by others, and not in all places of society, but more so within more surface level type relationships. There must be someone with whom we can feel free to just be our “real” selves. To illustrate, in a healthy relationship of two mutually committed people an agreement must exist between the two involved to reject any definition projection or attempt at control of impression, in order to allow for the sense of safety and trust necessary for the relationship to thrive.